Cut
by EpicFailMeiku
Summary: When depression and loneliness get the best of you, what is left to do but to drain away the feeling? T for dark themes
1. Cut

_I'm in kind of a dark mood right now... -shrugs- Suicidal thoughts and depression can be kept at bay through the power of writing. No idea how wonderful it can be for amature therapy._

* * *

Cut

No one ever tried to help him. He would not let them even if they tried. He was overly bright to keep them from asking him questions. He did not like when they tried to help. Because the reality of it was not a single one of them cared. Not his teachers who were patient and caring, but had no real attachment. Not his friends who would laugh with him, but never ask him if he was okay when he needed it. Not the adults who did not hate him, but they did not have any kind of affection for him.

No one tired to help him. Not once. Maybe if they had, it would not have come to this.

'Dammit Naruto, cut it out.'

Naruto laughed darkly. Maybe he was a little morbid, but the pun was just too good.

'I didn't mean it that way, kit.'

Of course he did not mean it that way. Kyuubi was over-all protective of him. Probably because Kyuubi's survival was linked directly to Naruto's.

The cut was healing over already. Naruto hated that. He could never drain the loneliness away when the bastard kitsune kept healing him. He wondered what it would take to stop those healing abilities. More work than it was worth, probably. If he was going to shut off he healing abilities, he might as well just kill himself and get it over with. No one would care. No tears would be shed.

'You are loved kit'

But that was bullshit and they both knew it. Who could love someone who was basically a demon? Who could possibly care about a prison?

Naruto slashed into his arm again, cutting from elbow to wrist in one deep gash. The blood spewed and immediately began to lessen. Naruto cursed Kyuubi again quietly. He wanted to bleed. If only to be able to focus on something than the aching emptiness of his world. He slashed more viciously, across his arms, his chest, his stomach. He slashed several times across the burning seal mark—the cause of his grief and constant reason for his life. He hated himself, not Kyuubi. It could not be helped that he was the wretched thing the Yodaime decided to imprison the fox in. He was the thing to hate. The villagers had burned that into his mind.

The blood pooling around him, splattering on the walls and staining the wood floor was almost a relief. The weakness he felt, the way his vision blurred, he felt nothing but joy. He would pass out, and wake up feeling numb and blank. He would be able to put up that stupid grin he worked so hard to keep in place in front of people. Because if you smile, who knows that their words affect you? If you smile, who can call you a cry-baby? If you smile, who will notice when you're in pain, when you need someone to lend a shoulder to cry on? If you smile, none of your fake friends have to put up with you any longer.

"Naruto?!"

It must have been the fox, because Naruto saw no one as he collapsed. He felt weak, numb, so close to blissful oblivion and at the same time so very far away. He could forget he was hated for a while. Darkness took him.

He was left unaware to the panic of the one who had called for him.

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_Should I continue it? I dunno. I kind of want to but then again, I kind of don't. Drop a review if you think I should. Or tell me to shut the hell up and get over it... Whatever floats your boat. If you do think I should, tell me who you think should be walking in on this scene. Cause I honestly don't know who it was who saw that._


	2. Wait

_Gabby Crossing- Thank you. Angst stories don't get a lot of reviews it seems, so I wasn't really expecting much with this one._

_Strawberry Raindrops- As with Gabby Crossing, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to review. I know a lot of people like to read and run…_

_Narutonerd202- Since you were the only one to ask, I'll make it Sasuke, but I'm not going to do any SasuNaru… Cause I like NaruSasu better ;) But seriously, I don't think I'm going to put any obvious yaoi in there. If you tilt your head this way and squint, I'll bet you find it though… Cause I really can't write Naruto and Sasuke friendship without love-ish-ness…_

Wait

The wounds were healing over already. In fact they were kind of steaming, like Naruto was melting back together. It was odd, but at the same time, very relieving. Sasuke did not want to explain anything to the people at the hospital—especially Tsunade. Naruto was like a son to her. To try to tell her he had walked in on Naruto tearing himself apart…

Sasuke stared down at his friend. He normally seemed so happy. What could have brought this on all of a sudden? What had caused him to so violently try to tear himself apart with his own claws? Why had he done it? What could have been so wrong? He never acted sad or destructive before. Why now? What was wrong?

Sasuke huffed, sitting down on his friend's couch. He would hang out until Naruto woke up. He wanted to know what the idiot had been thinking. What could have possibly been so horrible that he had to try to kill himself like that?

He glanced at Naruto's face. He was bloody, pale, but peaceful now. He seemed content, a small smile on is lips. Something seemed so wrong though. Something seemed out of place…

Sasuke shook his head. If he was going to wait around, he might as well help clean up. Naruto would not be able to clean up the blood himself after losing so much anyway.

While he washed the floor, he continued to ponder why Naruto would rip himself up like that. He had never once seemed depressed. In fact, Naruto never stopped smiling. Naruto was always happy. So why would he…?

Unless, of course, Naruto was hiding is true emotions behind the stupid grin. But no, Naruto was so easy to read. Sasuke would have been able to catch it if he had held up that smile as a mask. Sasuke was sure he would have known if his friend had been really suicidal.

Though, thinking back on a few missions, Naruto did have a tendency to rush into things in an almost suicidal fashion. Sasuke had summed that up to Naruto being stupid. Now he was not so sure. Did Naruto really want to die? But, why would he? He had so many friends, so many people who cared about him. He was always laughing it up with someone. So surely this was something sudden that cause it.

The wounds were completely healed now. The mark on Naruto's belly burned brightly. Sasuke wondered if it was the fox who had put some stupid thought in Naruto's head. That was it. It had to be. It had to be the fox's fault.

'But is it really?'

Sasuke knew, deep down, that the fox was not nearly stupid enough to screw with Naruto's mind that way. Why would he want Naruto to kill himself if the fox died with him? So, what was the reason?

Sasuke decided he should clean the blood from his friend. Because seeing Naruto covered in blood like that—covered in his own blood—was unnerving and making Sasuke a bit sick. He ran a washcloth under warm water and started wiping away the blood.

Still trying to bring forth a reason, Sasuke stared at Naruto's sleeping face. He did look content now. That tortured look earlier, before blue eyes rolled back and the blond crashed to the floor, had been terrifying. What was it? Why had he done it? Why? Why? Why?!

He had to wait for the answer. Naruto would not wake until morning, he was sure. He sat down next to him, wondering…

'Have I really not seen your pain?'

He would hate himself if he had not. Because Naruto was his salvation. Seeing that stupid grin half the time was inspiring. Hearing those stubborn remarks was encouraging. Constantly being challenged was flattering. Being dragged out of his house to socialize because 'no friend of Naruto's was allowed to be a stupid emo' was… amazingly heart-warming. Being fought for, being fought next to, being fought back to back with… Naruto was his best friend and his partner. Sasuke knew without Naruto, he would be consumed with anger and hate. Naruto balanced him.

So he would sit here and wait. He would wait until Naruto woke up and he could ask what the hell the moron thought he was doing. If Naruto could not answer, he would wait until he could.

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_So yeah. If I get a few positive reviews, I'll put up a final part. Only one more though cause I'm not feeling depressive anymore. It's amazing what some darkly themed drabbles and a few depressing poems will do for the soul, y'know?_


	3. Ends

_TNT666: … … … -glomps- More than enough positive!!_

**Ends**

Sasuke and Naruto avoided eye contact. The silence was thick and uncomfortable. Naruto did not want him there. Sasuke suddenly did not want to be there. He should have left. He should not have stayed. What was he thinking?

'That you needed to find out what the hell the dobe was thinking tearing himself up like that! Now ask the fucking questions you wanted to ask or get up and go!'

"Naruto—."

Naruto visibly flinched, and Sasuke felt something in his twist. He bit his lip and tried to come up with a gentle way to put it…

"Why did you…?"

Naruto's blue eyes were like ice as he almost glared at Sasuke, "Since when the fuck do you care?"

Sasuke was careful to not let any of the shock he felt show on his face. Naruto's dark tone, the way his eyes were hurt and angry… Everything about him just seemed wrong.

"Why wouldn't I? What would make you think I don't?"

"I don't know," Naruto scoffed, "maybe how you've never got a nice thing to say. Maybe how you've never once taken any interest in me ever. Maybe its just the very fact you're always looking down on me. Get the fuck out of my house, Sasuke."

His peace was ruined. Why the hell had Sasuke been there? How long had he watched? Naruto felt sick; why the hell did Sasuke have to see?

Sasuke felt sick; everything Naruto had said was right. He had never let Naruto know how incredibly important he was… And now he probably never would convince him. Naruto wanted him gone…

Sasuke hesitated to stand up. Naruto glared at nothing in particular. He just wanted Sasuke to leave so he could bury his embarrassed anger away. He was not mad at Sasuke. He could never be mad at Sasuke. But he hated how weak he always was in front of him. He hated how Sasuke always saw the worst, no matter what Naruto could not change the Uchiha's opinion. He always got the blunt of Sasuke's coldness, and the fact he was in so little standing with him hurt Naruto in ways even draining himself could not numb.

Sasuke stood finally. Naruto did not want him around. He could understand that.

"I'm not letting this go, Naruto."

'I've fallen even further away from you, haven't I?'

Naruto looked away as Sasuke walked out the door. Something about the way the door slammed behind him made Naruto horribly sad. Something triggered an "end" kind of feeling in him.

On the other side, Sasuke was feeling the same. There was an end in the way the door had closed. An in their relationship. They would never be able to go back to the way the used to be.

Sasuke felt stupidly optimistic though—because when one door closes, another door opens. And now, he was vowing to change Naruto's perspective. He would prove just how much Naruto meant to him, even if it killed him.

* * *

_So... Yeah. That's the end (oh, aren't I punny.) of this little depressive fic... I dunno, but for some reason I feel like there should be more but... My brain is screaming "STOP WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD, MORON!" ... of course that may just be being sick (blechk)... whatever. Hope I didnt depress to many of you... It's kinda light at the end... sorta. maybe. a little._


End file.
